It’s Time To Build Positive Relationships.

by Patrick Liew on August 19, 2019

It’s Time To Build Positive Relationships.

I am happy that I can count on many people as friends.

They come from different walks of life and many reside in different parts of the world.

From the young to the old, poor to the rich, not-formally educated to the educated… I can call on many of them.

We will make time for each other and help each other on the journey of life.

I have learned that friendships do not come by accident.

They need to be planned for and developed over time.

There are essentially 7 key strategies to bond with people and build a positive relationship with them.

1. Exemplify

Before you start to look for friends, you need to ask yourself, “How can I be the best of friends to attract them?”

First, you need to be a friend to yourself.

Love yourself and be comfortable with yourself, the person that you’re going to be with all the time.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, nobody else will.

If you can look after yourself, you’re in a better position to look after the others.

When you work on bringing out the best from yourself, you can also bring out the best from them.

By exemplifying positive values of being a friend, you will attract many people to yourself.

More importantly, you will attract the kind of friends who share the same values as you.

Your positive attitude and emotional stability will help you to win more friends.

On the other hand, if you are emotionally unstable, you will repel them from you.

Be the friend that you want to have.

At the same time, be the friend that others are looking for and you will be on track to building positive relationships.

2. Enroll

Decide what kind of friends you want to have and select them wisely.

These should be people who are committed to help each other to develop positive relationships and achieve win-win results.

To be realistic, not everybody will reciprocate positively when you extend your hands of friendship to them.

Focus on the people who respond to you and then work towards getting a positive response from the rest.

If you select the right friends, you will build the right relationships.

However, if you engage and interact with the wrong persons, you will have an uphill climb to build positive relationships.

3. Empower

Like plants, relationships have to be properly sowed, nourished and nurtured.

You need to plan for it, invest the right resources, and take the necessary action to make it work.

The best way to build up the relationship is to live by the Golden Rule, “Do to others what you want others to do to you. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.”

If you want to be loved, you must extend love to your friends.

In the same way, you must also make them feel important, valued and respected.

Friendship is like a mirror.

When you like your friends, they will be more inclined to like you too.

4. Enable

Friends must make time for each other. Without time, it is hard to get to know your friends and strengthen the bonds with them.

When you are with a friend, you have to be mindful to offer them your complete presence.

Aim to give them your full attention – your body, mind and spirit will have to be there for them.

Progressively develop the depth of your communication with them.

From mouth-to-mouth level (small talks), to head-to-head level (communication about issues in life), and finally to heart-to-heart level (sharing of personal secrets), you need to take the friendship over time to a deeper level.

Be sensitive to people’s thoughts and feelings and make them feel comfortable and secure with you.

After you have successfully connected with them, you are in a better position to collaborate with and even correct them.

As you get to know your friends on a deeper level, you need to also open up and take them into your confidence.

Extend your trust and build a relationship based on trust.

Without trust, there will never be a positive relationship.

As you make yourselves progressively vulnerable by sharing even your dreams, fear and failures with one another, you will increase the level of trust and interdependence.

Your friendship will also become deeper and stronger.

Contribute positively to your friends and and take action to be a plus factor in their lives.

5. Encourage

Every person has his own strengths and achievements.

Focus on their strengths and help them improve on these strengths and to leverage on them to achieve better results in life.

Expect the best from your friends and look out for the good in them.

In doing so, they will be more inclined to feel good about themselves and will become more motivated to achieve better results in life.

People like people who like them.

Therefore, recognize your friends’ good deeds privately and publicly and take every opportunity to shower them with your affirmation and appreciation.

Compliment them sincerely, constantly and generously and inspire them on their pathway to greatness.

Be active in responding to any good news from your friends.

It is important that you celebrate their achievements and successes in life.

Speak “words of life” when you are with your friends.

In other words, make them feel that you are behind them, encouraging and supporting them on their way to success.

Your friends will soon rise up to the level of your belief in their potential and performance.

6. Enhance

In the process of building a relationship, there will inevitably be controversies, conflicts and contentions.

You may even have to go through crises and challenges together.

In such times, it is important for you to be humble and be willing to talk over the concerns.

If need be, bring in a credible third party to mediate and help you patch up the relationship.

Be mindful that we are humans and will commit errors and failures in our lives.

Bury your ego and be willing to say, “I’m sorry.”

Without a forgiving spirit, your friendship cannot be strong, and it will not grow.

7. Enrich

In my company, we believe, “The best life is a life that is lived for others. The more we reach out to bless other lives, the richer and better our lives will become.”

This is the foundation to build a lasting relationship.

That’s why you will have to continue to improve on your Friendship Quotient – your ability to value add to your relationships.

Same reason why you need to invest time, energy and money to learn, improve and become a better friend.

To improve your friendship literacy, you need to find out your friends’ goals and aspirations and position yourself to be their cheer leader.

Plan an active part in helping them fulfill their visions in life.

As you journey with them, be sensitive and responsive to their needs.

It can be a listening ear, a simple word of encouragement, a helping hand, or other acts of kindness to help them resolve challenges and live a better life.

As they say, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

For your friendship to be strong, you need to stand by and support each other through times of difficulties.

Your friends must know that they can count on you during both good and bad times.

The more values you add to their lives, the greater will be your sense of purpose and meaning in life.

It will also help you sail through the storms of life because you too will need friends when you face challenges in life.

8. Endear

When you think of all the endearing relationships you had in life, it probably came about because of the special experiences you went through with your friends and the beautiful memories you shared with them.

It includes sharing each other’s secrets, crying for each other, and spending wonderful moments together.

Although many of these experiences resulted from circumstances, a lot of them were deliberately created by somebody.

I hope you will never be too busy to create such happy memories for your loved ones and friends.

To do so, you need to use your creative juices to come out with heartfelt initiatives and even pleasant surprises.

As you build on your relationships and when your friends become stars in your life, they will brighten up your life and help you too. You will also shine along with them too.

It’s worth every effort to build positive friendships.

Without them, life will not be as meaningful, exciting and fulfilling.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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Life is FUNtastic!


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