It’s Time To Build Positive Relationships.

by Patrick Liew on July 17, 2018

It’s Time To Build Positive Relationships.

I am happy that I can count on many people as friends.

They come from different walks of life and many parts of the world.

From the young to the old, poor to the rich, not-educated to the educated… I can call on many of them.

We will make time for each other and help each other on the journey of life.

I have learned that friendships do not come by accident.

They need to be planned for and developed over time.

There are essentially 7 key strategies to bond with people and build a positive relationship with them.

1. Exemplify

Before you start to look for friends, you need to ask yourself, “How can I be the best of friends to attract them?”

First, you need to be a friend to yourself.

You need to love and be comfortable with yourself, the person that you’re with all the time.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, nobody else will.

If you can look after yourself, you’re in a better position to look after the others.

When you work on bringing out the best from yourself, you can also bring out the best from them.

By exemplifying positive values of being a friend, you will attract many people to yourself.

More importantly, you will attract friends who share the same values as you.

You have to contribute positively to your friends and take action to be a plus factor in their lives.

Your positive attitude and emotional stability will help you to win more friends. On the other hand, if you are emotionally unstable, you will repel them from you.

Be the friend that you want to have.

At the same time, be the friend that others are looking for and you will be on track to building positive relationships.

2. Enroll

You need to decide what kind of friends you want to have and select them wisely.

These are people who are committed to helping each other develop positive relationships and achieve win-win results.

To be realistic, not everybody will reciprocate positively when you extend your hands of friendship to them.

You need to focus on the people who respond to you and then work towards getting a positive response from the rest.

If you select the right friends, you will build the right relationships.

However, if you engage the wrong persons, you will have an uphill climb to build positive relationships.

3. Empower

Like plants, relationships have to be properly sowed, nourished and nurtured.

You need to plan for it, invest the right resources, and take the necessary action to make it work.

The best way to build up the relationship is to live by the Golden Rule, “Do to others what you want others to do to you.

Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.”

If you want to be loved, you must extend love to your friends.

In the same way, you must also make them feel important, valued and respected.

Friendship is like a mirror. When you like your friends, they will be more inclined to like you too.

4. Enable

Friends must make time for each other.

Without time, it is hard to get to know your friends and strengthen the bond with them.

When you are with a friend, you have to be mindful to offer them your complete presence.

You must strive to give them your full attention – your body, mind, and spirit will have to be there for them.

You need to progressively develop the depth of your communication with them.

From mouth-to-mouth level (small talks) to head-to-head level (communication about issues in life), and finally to heart-to-heart level (sharing of personal secrets), you need to take the friendship to a deeper level.

You have to be sensitive to people’s thoughts and feelings and make them feel comfortable and secure with you.

After you have successfully connected with them, you are in a better position to collaborate with and even correct them.

To know your friends on a deeper level, you need to continue to open up and take them into your confidence.

Extend your trust and build a relationship based on trust. Without trust, there will never be a positive relationship.

As you make yourselves progressively vulnerable by sharing even your dreams, fear and failures with one another, you will increase the level of trust and interdependence.

Your friendship will also become deeper and stronger.

5. Encourage

People like people who like them.

They will rise up to the level of your belief in their potential and performance.

In this regard, it is important to speak “words of life” when you are with your friends.

In other words, they must feel that you are behind them, encouraging and supporting them on their way to success.

Every person has his own strengths and achievements.

You need to focus on their strengths and help them improve on these traits and leverage on them to achieve better results in life.

You must expect the best from your friends and look out for the good in them.

In doing so, they will be more inclined to feel good about themselves and will become more motivated to achieve better results in life.

You need to recognise their good deeds privately and publicly and take every opportunity to shower them with your affirmation and appreciation.

Compliment them sincerely, constantly and generously and inspire them on their pathway to greatness.

You need to be active in responding to any good news from your friends.

It is important that you celebrate their achievements and successes in life.

6. Enhance

In the process of building a relationship, there will inevitably be controversies, conflicts and contentions.

You may even have to go through crises and challenges together.

In such times, it is important for you to be humble and be willing to talk over the concerns.

If need be, you may have to bring in a credible third party to mediate and help you patch up the relationship.

You need to be mindful that we are humans and will commit errors and failures in our lives.

Bury your ego and be willing to say, “I’m sorry.” Without a forgiving spirit, your friendship cannot be strong and it will not grow.

7. Enrich

In my company, we believe, “The best life is a life that is lived for others.

The more we reach out to bless other lives, the richer and better our lives will become.”

This is the foundation to build a lasting relationship.

That’s why you will have to continue to improve on your Friendship Quotient – your ability to value add to your relationships.

Same reason why you need to invest time, energy and money to learn, improve and become a better friend.

To improve your friendship literacy, you need to find out your friends’ goals and aspirations and position yourself to be their cheerleader.

Play an active part in helping them fulfill their visions in life.

As you journey with them, be sensitive and responsive to their needs.

It can be a listening ear, a simple word of encouragement, a helping hand, or other acts of kindness to help them resolve challenges and live a better life.

As they say, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

For your friendship to be strong, you need to stand by and support each other through times of difficulties.

Your friends must know that they can count on you during both good and bad times.

The more values you add to their lives, the greater will be your sense of purpose and meaning in life.

It will also help you sail through the storms of life because you too will need friends when you face challenges in life.

8. Endear

When you think of all the endearing relationships you had in life, it probably came about because of the special experiences you went through with your friends and the beautiful memories you shared with them.

It includes sharing each other’s secrets, crying for each other, and spending wonderful moments together.

Although many of these experiences resulted from circumstances, a lot of them were deliberately created by somebody.

I hope you will never be too busy to create such happy memories for your loved ones and friends.

To do so, you need to use your creative juices to come out with heartfelt initiatives and even pleasant surprises.

As you build on your relationships and when your friends become stars in your life, they will brighten up and guide you in your life.

You will also shine along with them too.

It’s worth every effort to build positive relationships. Without them, life will not be as meaningful, exciting and fulfilling.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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Life is FUNtastic!


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