Letting Go Of The Past (Part H)

by Patrick Liew on August 6, 2011

Over the years, I have discovered ways to help me forgive my offenders.

I will read real life stories of forgiveness. I can ‘google’ and read about brave people who have forgiven their enemies.

They include Nelson Mandela, Phan Thi Kim Phuc, Mahatma Gandhi, Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, Simon Weston, Desmond Tutu, and John Gray.

By doing that, it will inspire me to have a more forgiving spirit.

Forgiveness may take courage, determination, and effort. Therefore, I will choose the easy cases to start with first.

These are experiences that are not as hurtful or the offender is easier to forgive.

I may ask wiser and caring people to help me go through the forgiveness process.

Ultimately, I have to learn how to do it on my own and without any assistance.

To help me forgive my offender, I may write an apology letter to myself on behalf of the offender.

In this letter, I may imagine the following factors:

  • Explanation on why the offender committed the wrongdoing,
  • His weaknesses and inappropriate approach to the situation,
  • Motivations driving him,
  • Circumstances that he was in,
  • Emotional stress and struggles that he was going through,
  • Reasons why it was not a personal attack, and
  • Why it was a bad mistake committed by him.

By crafting this letter, it may help me to defuse my hatred. It may lower my anguish and resentment and make it easier for me to forgive him.

I may also write a letter of forgiveness to the offender but I will not send it to him.

In the letter, I may record:

  • Details of the wrongdoing,
  • Why I was hurt and how I suffered from it,
  • Any part that I may have played to allow it to happen or continue to happen,
  • My views about the offender’s weaknesses that caused him to commit the wrongdoing,
  • What I wish the offender could have done,
  • Forgiveness of the offender and letting go of the negative experience.

After I have forgiven the offender, I will not grumble, grouse, or gripe about the experience anymore. It will only bring back the hurt and the pain.

In fact, every time, when I sense resentment rising within me, I will forgive the offender again. I will continue to forgive him until the poison of forgiveness is removed from my system.

I have also created ‘The Affirmation of Forgiveness’ that I can read to myself constantly so as to have a forgiving spirit.

‘I forgive myself and my offenders for all the hurt, pain, and sorrow.

I do it for myself and I do not expect any responses from them.

I do it to release negative memories and emotions. I want to fill my life with positive emotions so that I can build more loving and closer relationships.

I will turn these experiences into learning experiences. I want them to strengthen me and make me a better person.

I am free to enjoy my life and live life to the fullest.

I am liberated to build a brighter future for myself and for my loved ones.’


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please go to ‘Notes’ found below my profile picture.

Visit my Inspiration blog at http://liewinspiration.wordpress.com

Visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com

Please read them and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

Question: How can we find more and better ways to forgive our offenders?


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