Letting Go Of The Past (Part K)

by Patrick Liew on August 19, 2011

Those who bless you will be blessed.

Those who curse you will be cursed.”

These words were shared with me by at least three very prominent leaders at different points in my life. They were referring to me and my company.

These words made me very uncomfortable.

I have kept it in my heart until now.

Over the years, I have seen some of my ‘enemies’ suffered. Death, incurable disease, family break-up, bankruptcy…

Am I happy?

Absolutely NOT!!!

I have been reflecting on it as I was crafting this series of Love Notes on ‘Letting Go Of The Past.’

Forgiving myself and others are blessings that only I can give to myself.

I may be able to forgive but I may not be able to forget the experience.

However, I can forget the pain and sorrow and all the cascading emotional distress of the experience.

It does not mean that I have to meet or be reconciled with the offender. I do not have to run away from the fact that harm and hurt have been done against me.

I do not need to support the offence and justify for it. In some cases, I may even have to be involved in helping the police to bring the offender to justice.

Having said that, should I continue to hate the offenders or harbor resentment against them?

The answer should be a definite NO.

When I harbor ill-feelings about the offender and worst, wish him harm, I – not the offender – will carry an emotional burden in my heart.

When I have ill-feelings for the offender, I will also have ill-feelings for myself.

There is some wisdom in the wise crack, ‘The best way to take vengeance is to live a good life,’

I say, better still, live a good life but not for the sake of vengeance.

When I have negative wishes for the offender, I am escaping into the worst recess of my mind. The further I go into it, the lesser I will be able to enjoy the goodness in me and of life.

I endeavor not to gossip or speak evil against the offenders. Neither will I be envious or jealous about them.

These negative emotions will breed other negative emotions. Ultimately, a small seed of resentment and hatred may take root in my heart. I have to take them out from my life to ensure they do not grow beyond my control since they do not make any sense at all.

As Martin Luther King Junior, wisely said,

‘Hatred paralyses life, love releases it.

Hatred confuses life, love harmonizes it.   

Hatred darkens life, love illuminates it.’

Once hatred and other negative emotions take root in my life, I will have to learn to manage it. Otherwise, it may grow into a demon that is beyond my control.

Is it worth it?

The baggage of ill-feelings can only suck my energy and slow me down in my life.

It will prevent me from making full use of life and enjoying it.

I want to adopt the advice of the Scripture,

‘But I say unto you,

Love your enemies,

bless them that curse you.

Do good to them that hate you,

and pray for them which despitefully use you,

and persecute you;’

-Matthew 5:44 (King James Version)

Believe me, it took me a long time to understand the wisdom of this truth. And, it took me a very long time to apply it in my life.

Think about it. The best way to release the past is to capitalize on it for the best future.

The best way to remove hatred is to replace it with love.

The best way to remove ill-feelings and vengeance is to contribute positively to others and the environment.

The best way to remove negative emotions against the offender is to pray for the offenders.

By wishing them well and if need be, doing the right thing for them, I can fully remove the poison of unforgiveness.

I have applied this wise counsel with a lot of reluctance and difficulties. I have repeated this action many times in my life and they may not get any easier.

Over time, I discovered when I do not hate anybody or harbor ill-feelings against them, I can better focus on fulfilling my calling.

I can harness more energy to achieve better results.

I can have more fun and laugh more heartily.

I can enjoy my life. J


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please go to ‘Notes’ found below my profile picture.

Visit my Inspiration blog at http://liewinspiration.wordpress.com

Visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com

Please read them and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

Question: How can we remove ill-feelings for our offenders and even wish them well in life?



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