A Revolution Of Love (Part 3) – Loving Yourself
I have a mental disorder.
Before you call the Institute of Mental Health to put me in a strait jacket, please let me explain myself.
I was born and grew up with a psychiatric disorder, what psychiatrists termed as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD for short.
They may not know it but it can be a genetical blessing.
I will not go into details about this disorder. Suffice to say, the symptoms of having ADHD include the inclination to:
· Daydream,
· Be distracted,
· Switch from one thing to another,
· Have difficulty in focusing, and
· Be bored easily.
As a result of ADHD, I have many challenges in my life.
It takes a lot for me to be like what you would call a “normal” person and to succeed in life.
For example, I used to daydream in class and found it very hard to pay attention to the lessons.
As a result, I would be totally lost until I learned to study on my own so as to pass the examinations.
When I talk to another person, I have to work much harder than most people to focus my attention on him.
I can get distracted easily and therefore, it’s more difficult for me to build a closer relationship.
Let me share with you a typical challenge of having ADHD.
Many years back, there was a colleague who resigned from the company.
During the exit interview, she complained, “Patrick walked right through me.
“I called him but he did not even acknowledge me. He doesn’t care about me.”
This colleague left to join a competitor.
When I was growing up, my parents, teachers, and friends did not realize what I was going through.
Even if they did, they would probably not know anything about ADHD or know how to help me cope with it.
I personally didn’t even know what was holding me back in life.
Later in my life, I was so grateful and thankful for my ADHD.
It has helped me to be a better person. Instead of allowing it to strangle me, I have leveraged on it to strengthen my chances for success.
How did I work with our Creator to transform a pitfall into a platform for success?
First, I acknowledge that I have ADHD.
I may have to live with it for the rest of my life. I will never deny it and will take full responsibility for it.
For example, I learned that unhealthy food can worsen the problem.
As a result, I endeavor to eat appropriately and have a healthier lifestyle.
Secondly, I have disciplined myself to learn about ADHD and manage it to my advantage.
In the process, I learned that there is always a way to cope with any challenge in life.
In my case, I have developed appropriate attitude, knowledge, skills, and habits to confront and overcome symptoms of ADHD.
I have learned many ways to manage the stresses and strains caused by these symptoms.
I have improved my emotional muscles and enhanced my overall well being to cope better with the emotional challenges.
All these initiatives have improved my productivity at work and in life.
Thirdly, I have turned the challenge of having ADHD into an opportunity to achieve better outcomes.
It has become a platform and not a pitfall to achieve success.
I have developed systems, processes and procedures to overcome downsides of having ADHD.
As a result, I have actually done well in my formal education.
I have also applied the same problem-solving skills and techniques to improve my relationships and my businesses.
Guess what? I am teaching some of these techniques to help even business and community leaders to achieve better results.
Imagine an ADHD patient teaching people how to focus, listen to people, and persevere to complete a task?
It will sound like a bad joke to fellow “ADHD”ers.
Through it all, ADHD has become a stepping stone to success and not a millstone around my neck.
It has softened me, strengthened me, and enlightened me.
It has softened me in the sense that it has humbled me and made me more of a human.
I can better understand and feel for people who are facing challenges in their lives.
It made me a more empathetic and approachable person.
To cope with ADHD, I had to put in more efforts to strengthen basic life skills.
I have to improve my attitude, discipline, knowledge, skills, and lifestyle – all of which have made me a better person.
In the process of resolving downsides of ADHD, I have learned how to persist and persevere so as to achieve desired results.
I became stronger and more resilient in facing other challenges in life.
ADHD has enlightened me to realise that there are many “Patrick Liew”s out there who are facing different kinds of challenges.
I want to inspire them with how I turn a psychiatric disorder into an advantage of a higher order.
Serve them so that they will not be left behind on the highways and byways of life. Instead, they will become leaders for the good of society.
I am grateful and thankful to our Creator for the gift of such a mental disorder.
However, that’s not how I have always felt.
Truth be told, there were depressing moments in time past when I wished that I didn’t have this challenge.
There were times when I wished that I can be somebody else.
As a result of studying life, I have learned to love and appreciate myself.
By learning to overcome unique challenges and cope with what cannot be changed in my life, it has helped me to understand and be thankful for myself.
Think about it.
There is nobody in the world that can be a better you than you.
Nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.
Nobody can make you feel less than what you’re worth without your approval.
You and you alone hold the master key to the gates of your heart and only you can allow others to strengthen or weaken it.
It does not make sense to be someone else other than yourself.
There is every reason to treat yourself well and with respect, affection, and care and concern.
You deserve the highest level of self-love.
Therefore, accept yourself for who you are and in whatever situation you’re in.
Learn how to befriend yourself unconditionally.
Enjoy your own companionship and be comfortable with your own being, the only home that you will ever have throughout your life.
Appreciate yourself and catch yourself doing good.
Pat yourself constantly on the back and celebrate the wonder and beauty of life.
Love both the good as well as what can be improved in your life.
Learn how to love yourself despite all your fears, frailties and failures.
It includes loving the past and even the darkest moments in your life.
The more you love your past, the more you can enjoy the present.
And the more you love the present, the more you can build on the present for a brighter future.
When you can even love your shortcoming, it will have no power over you, and it can never haunt you for a single moment.
You will be in a better position to love yourself and others too.
Engage yourself in positive self-talk and fan the flame of love as you continue the ongoing love affair with yourself.
Seek to be the best coach, counsellor and cheerleader to yourself.
Do not doubt for a moment that you cannot love yourself.
All that you need to do is to remove the blockages that you have consciously or unconsciously set up to prevent yourself from being in love and from tapping on love.
Ultimately, self-love should draw you closer to our Creator and lead you to be a blessing to yourself and to others.
If you cannot love yourself, it’ll be hard for you to love others.
Loving yourself is one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself.
Without self-love, you can’t even start on the path of satisfaction, success and significance.
Self-love is the fuel for inspiration, action and contribution.Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
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Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!
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