Building Friendships (Part 2)

by Patrick Liew on October 9, 2011

I have been encouraging my daughters to be like my father and me who have a wide circle of friends.

To encourage them to do so, I told them that their daddy can go to almost every public place and would be able to find a friend.

Fortunately, almost every time that I was tested, it has proven to be true. Fact is, I do have a lot of friends – and I’m proud and happy about it.

Friendship is one of the greatest blessings in life.

I have learned long ago that if I want to have friends, I must be one.

Friendships do not come by chance, I have to develop them.

There are three essential tips that have helped me to cultivate friendship.

1.       Invest Time

If I want to have friends, I have to make time to find them and develop the friendships.

For people who accept my hands of friendship, I must make it worthwhile for them. I need to offer them my listening ears.

I need to find out their motivations and their interests. It’s also good to know about their lifestyle.

I need to show my interest in them. I need to make them feel important and valued – and to do it sincerely.

Throughout the friendship, I make it a point to inspire and encourage them. I aim to be a plus factor to their lives.

In other words, I endeavour to be useful and to add values to them.

2.       Communicate Effectively

Friendships are built through open, positive, and regular communication.

To communicate effectively, I need to understand the other party and his point of view. There is a difference between his point of view and what I think is his point of view.

That’s why, it is important to ask the right questions and listen with all my senses. Very often, it is not what he said but the way he said what he said that matters.

It’s always a good practice to clarify and seek feedback to make sure that I have understood him. I have found that most people like others to listen to them and show care and concern for them.

If I want to deepen the friendship, I should be willing to share what is deep within my heart.

Very often, when two persons can be open and comfortable with one another, friendship will start to grow and become stronger.

3.       Value-Add To The Friendship

If I want others to keep me as a friend, I must value-add to the friendship.

They must be better off with me in their lives than without me.

The Golden Rule applies aptly in this case – I will do to others what I want them to do to me. I will not do to them what I don’t want them to do to me.

I aim to be loyal and be supportive to my friends.

I like to be able to share information that will be beneficial to my friends.

If possible, I like to be able to help them relate to and be connected with the other people who can add values to their lives.

I aim to stand by them and cheer them on their way to success.

In times of need, I hope to be there for them.

When I start to have more friends, it will help me to enjoy more positive emotions and enjoy my life.

When that happens, I will attract even more and better quality of friendships.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please go to ‘Notes’ found below my profile picture.

Visit my Transformation blog at

Visit my Inspiration blog at

Please read them and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!


Question: How can we build and maintain friendships?


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