It’s Time To Deal With The “Monster” Within.

by Patrick Liew on July 17, 2018

It’s Time To Deal With The “Monster” Within.

“Patrick, if you do it, I will leave the room. I will resign from the company.”

These were the direct and angry words from one of my key managers.

Just before that, I had told him what I planned to do at a leadership Bootcamp.

It was the last day of the course. There was enough time for just one more exercise.

Everybody was in a euphoric mood because of the many life-changing breakthroughs.

We needed a powerful climax to complete the learning journey.

I had an idea.

My plan must have clearly shocked him. He was all set to stage a walk-out and probably even organize a protest against me with the other colleagues.

What I am about to share with you is one of the high points of my research in the art and science of leadership.

As a keen observer of great leaders in action and have documented some of the best practices, I needed a divine revelation.

While I have helped to train and coach many leaders, somehow I felt there was something amiss.

There was an X factor that was needed to be on the list of leadership qualities or for that matter, deleted from it.

I believe that leadership has to start from the heart.

The heart of leadership problems is a problem of the heart.

If a leader does not have the heart to love and serve his people, he does not qualify and deserves to be a leader.

All well and good but if it is so simple, why are there not more leaders putting their hearts into the lives of their people?

What is stopping leaders from investing their hearts into their teams’ vision and action plan?

As I dived deeper into the workings of the leader’s heart, I made a scary discovery.

A dark and horror one.

There is a monster living in each and every one of us.

It is our biggest enemy – the ego.

Left unrestrained, it can cause relationships to break down.

It can affect your performance and results and eventually destroy your life.

The ego is an over-consciousness of your being and is an unhealthy attachment.

It has a tendency to make you feel bigger and better than the others.

In reality, it is a cover-up of your fears, inadequacies, and insecurities.

That’s why it tends to be critical and judgmental and is inclined to make others inferior to yourself.

The ego seeks to own and dominate others. It wants to control every situation and outcome.

While manifesting pride and arrogance on the surface, deep within, it desires to be accepted and approved.

Paradoxically, it tends to hurt others while getting hurt easily.

The ego is not your true self. It lives in a false reality and views the world from an ethnocentric perspective.

It is self-conscious and self-centered.

At every given opportunity, it is self-glorifying and seeks its self-interest.

By doing that, it blinds you to your weaknesses.

It makes you live in a world of your own make beliefs.

Unfortunately, if the ego makes you so full of yourself, you are actually shortchanging yourself.

You become smaller than what you really are, living in a world that has been shrunk by your self-absorbed mind.

It shuts you from the truths and prevents you from seeking the correct path to a better future.

It competes with your heart that wants to serve a higher calling and fulfill a worthwhile cause.

The ego needs to be fed but it will never be satisfied.

In fact, it will become hungrier and will grow until it becomes bigger than you.

Gradually, it will devour you.

The conflicting truth about the ego is that you cannot control it without being controlled by it.

You cannot manage it unless you replace it with a far more compelling driver and purpose.

You need to harness and channel the good in you and drive it in the right direction and towards the right aspirations.

Along the way, you need to continue to discipline yourself from feeding the ego.

You must prevent it from rearing its ugly head even for the slightest moment.

You need to consciously detach yourself from the ego.

In fact, you should run away from whatever will lead you to self-indulgence, over-confidence, and vainglory.

They are distant cousins of the ego.

The best way to subdue the ego is to submit it to the leading of our Creator.

If our Creator has no part in your life, the ego will take over the divine throne and the center of gravity in your life.

Obviously, if you tap on human intelligence, you can only achieve what a human can do.

However, when you tap on Infinite Wisdom, you will open yourself to unlimited possibilities and achievements.

When you allow the Higher Self to lovingly guide you, you will learn to be mindful of fulfilling a high purpose and a worthy cause.

Over time, He will replace and control the ego with a set of positive mission and values.

You will learn to be sensitive to others and serve them.

At the end of the day, you will learn to achieve and sustain a win-win relationship and outcome.

Move from being me-centric to being others-centric and from focusing on your self-interests to the other party’s interests.

Work towards achieving a greater good for humanity than for your own self-good.

On the journey of life, a winner wears humility on both his heart and his dispositions.

He is not defined by accolades, awards, and achievements. He is defined by something bigger as a child of God.

He recognizes that if he over-dwells on the challenges internally, he will not be able to manage the challenges externally.

If he overly-focuses on what’s inside him, he will not be able to capitalize on the opportunities outside.

While he loves himself, he will never allow his self-love to hold him back from loving others.

He accepts his weaknesses but that will not stop him from helping others to achieve greater successes than his own.

It bodes well to remember that the ego trip is a trip to destruction.

You need to take the high and selfless road to success.

As I meditated over these principles during the Bootcamp, I wonder how they can be taught to others.

I came to the conclusion that they could not be taught but caught.

That’s when I decided to reenact a ritual from the Lord Jesus Christ.

I decided to wash the feet of the leaders and the participants at the end of the Bootcamp.

It was one of the most powerful experiences on my learning journey.

All over the room, many participants were in tears.

Many, including my manager, discovered what we have lost. We returned back to what we were designed for – to put others before self and to love and serve others.

It was another turning point in my life.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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