Letting Go Of The Past (Part A)

by Patrick Liew on July 26, 2011

I have finally decided to share with you one of the most painful experiences in my life.

I had a good platonic friend for many years. We shared many things in common and also went through many deep experiences together.

We were so close that some people jokingly called us the ‘diabolical twins’. We were in some ways inseparable.

One night, he came to my place.

He had lost his job and had started a business with another friend.  But the business was virtually insolvent.

He plotted to split up his partnership – and the way he did it was not quite right. As a friend, while I did not agree with his way, I stood by him.

Later, I helped him to negotiate for an exclusive contract to represent a UK company. I also invested in the business.

Fortunately, the new business was profitable from day one. Unfortunately, he applied the same plot against me.

First, he asked me not to get involved with the business.

Then, he suggested that I do not even step into the office.

Finally, he told me to leave him alone. I should not even ask him about the business.

To cut a long story short, he was staging me. He was waiting for the day to get me out of the business.

The sad day came. I had been waiting for him to moot the offer, “Patrick, can I buy you out of the business?”

My response shocked him.

I offered to give him my share of the business. I did not even want a share of the profits.

All I wanted was my initial investment back. I did not even want to charge him an interest for it.

My friend was speechless. It was an anticlimax to his well-laid plan.

Later, we went our separate ways.

A wonderful friendship died.

But the bitterness lived on in my heart for a long time.

I could not even use any words to describe the pain in my heart. The sorrow was so deep I could not even talk about it for a long time.

Although he had apologized to me, I found it hard to forget and get over the misery.

I knew I had to make a decision – to forgive or not to forgive him.

If I told you, I could just forgive him and let it go – I would be telling you a big fat lie.

It was one of the hardest things to do in my life.

One day, I cleared my mind and thought about the experience. I realized if I continue to carry the anger, the hurt, the pain, the scars… I would kill myself emotionally.

I would continue to live a part of my life in the past. I could never fully live in the present.

My contempt of the past would also condemn my future.

Unconsciously, negative emotions attracted more negative emotions. When I held on to them, they attracted more negative experiences.

 I could never run faster in my life. I could never fly and soar to the best future.

All these negative scars and emotions could be passed on genetically to my children, and future generations. Some people called it a curse of the forefathers.

Latest studies in emotional intelligence also seemed to suggest that these negative emotions could influence the people around me. They can affect my loved ones, friends, colleagues and customers.

Someone said, ‘Refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.’

I had to make a decision – a painful one at that point in time.

I chose to live.

I choose to enjoy the best future.

I chose to do the right thing for my loved ones and the people around me.

I choose to forgive my friend.

And every time, when I felt the slightest resentment for him arising – I would forgive him again.

I would forgive him again and again until the poison of unforgiveness was totally released from my body, soul and spirit.

I wished I had done it earlier.

When I decided to forgive him, a huge boulder literally rolled off my heart. I felt like I was being set free.

I could fly.

And I flew.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please go to ‘Notes’ found below my profile picture.

Visit my Inspiration blog at http://liewinspiration.wordpress.com

Visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com

Please read them and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

Question:  How can we forgive those who hurt us?


Powered by Facebook Comments

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: