Friends Who Love You Speak The Truth Even If The Truth Hurts…

by Patrick Liew on August 27, 2018

Friends Who Love You Speak The Truth Even If The Truth Hurts…

I have an old friend – let’s call him Mark – and he was a mentor to me and many of my friends.

Many years ago, Mark was one of our leaders in a youth movement.

He spent a lot of time training and coaching us, and was somebody we looked up to during the formative years of our lives.

At one point after we joined the working world, Mark called upon some of us to evaluate and get involved in a business project.

During a meeting with him, everybody was encouraging Mark to take on the venture.

Throughout the meeting, I couldn’t help feeling that they were saying things that Mark wanted to hear.

They were not sharing the complete truth with him.

In my heart of hearts, I did not think the project would work and therefore, I had to speak my peace.

I told the group, “I like to conduct a survey.

“If you believe in the project, how many of you will invest your own money in it, or participate actively in it in other ways?”

After going around the table, the stark truth came to light.

Nobody – not a single person – wanted to finance or get involved with it.

Obviously the meeting ended badly.

Mark was not happy that I had spoken my mind and had forced the rest to show their cards.

Together with a partner who was not from our circle of friends, Mark went on to launch the project.

Subsequently, the project failed.

Mark’s partnership splitted.

That experience became a major setback in his life.

A mutual friend told me about Mark’s failure and how he suffered a cascade of negative effects after that sad experience.

He said to me a few words which resonated deeply in my heart, “I wish someone had given Mark an honest feedback – even though it may be brutal.”

As I reflected on Mark’s story, I learned many important lessons.

Encourage your friends to give you honest feedback, no matter how cold, harsh and painful the truth may be.

Do not closed up your mind to any positive ideas and recommendations.

If the feedback is worthwhile, adopt and act on it.

However, if the feedback is not useful, don’t let the feedback stand in the way of your progress.

In addition, continue to speak the truth, but speak the truth wisely, lovingly and gently.

Convey the right feedback, and convey it in the right way to friends who appreciate your honesty and are willing to act on your advice.

Do it in good faith and with the best of intentions so as to help your friends achieve the best outcomes.

In summary, please continue to teach me.

If you feel that I’m closed up and not teachable in any way, you have my permission to knock some senses into my head.

With more friends helping and supporting me, I’m confident of going further and faster in live.


How should you accept the truth and tell the truth, especially if the truth is cold, harsh and painful?


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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