Letting Go Of The Past (Part J)

by Patrick Liew on August 7, 2011

Forgiveness enhances health, happiness and overall well being.

Research in the field of positive psychology has also proven that there are many other benefits. They can help me to be more successful in life.

Forgiveness frees me from the shackles of the past. It liberates me to make full use of my potential.

I can focus on enjoying my life to the fullest.

As a result of sharing about forgiveness, I have received many touching testimonials from people all over the world. Their lives have improved tremendously. At the same time, the blessings have overflowed to their loved ones.

In HSR Residential Bootcamps, I have seen many people changed on the spot when they forgave their offenders and released their negative emotions from their hearts.

Sometimes, I could see them change physically right before my eyes.

Many of them told me, “I wish I have forgiven my offenders much earlier.”

I apply 7 steps to help me to have a more forgiving spirit and to forgive my offenders. I call them “The 7 Steps To FREEDOM.”

Please allow me to share them with you.


1.       F – Facts

First, I must acknowledge the major facts of the negative experience. I must recognise its reality in my life.

When I do not recognize that it is real – no matter how unpleasant it is – I will never take the right action.

To help me forgive my offender, I must consider how the offence has negatively impacted my life. How I have suffered for it.

The question that I must answer is, “Do I want to continue the pain and sorrow and maybe, transfer them to my loved ones?” Please join me to say it loudly, “No!”

I will have to make a decision to let the negative part of my past go. I will have to forgive – and forgive immediately.


2.       R – Responsibility

I will take full responsibility for any part that I may have played to cause the experience to occur. I may have also consciously or unconsciously allowed the experience to continue in my life.


3.       E – Empathy

To help me forgive, I may put myself in the shoes of the offender.

I will ask myself, ‘What are his imperfections and wrong approaches in life?’

‘What flaws, weaknesses, motivations, or circumstances caused him to commit the wrongdoing?’

If necessary, I may consider the positive side of the offender and what he has done for me in the past.

For example, I realized that my father loved me and wanted the best for me.

He might not know how to express his love to me. As a result, he could have made the wrong decision and took the wrong action.


4.       E – Empowerment

There are a few ways that can empower me to have a more forgiving spirit and to forgive my offenders.

First, I am mindful that I forgive for my sake – and not for the sake of my offender.

I do not have to meet him and be reconciled to him. I also do not expect any responses from him.

I will also remind myself of all the benefits of forgiveness, including the following:

     a.       Free me from the past,

     b.      Release my negative emotions,

     c.       Liberate me mentally,

     d.      Improve my self-esteem,

     e.      Take better control of my life,

     f.        Enjoy more positive emotions,

     g.       Learn useful lessons and strengthen myself,

     h.      Build closer relationships,

     i.         Have better focus and more resources to pursue my dreams and goals, and

     j.        Live and enjoy a better life.

I will also imagine enjoying all the above benefits. I will visualize how it will make me a better person and help me build a better future.


5.       D – Decision

I will ask our Creator and, if necessary, other people who are wise to help me make the decision to forgive my offender.

I can write on a piece of paper or say it loudly to myself:

‘I forgive (name of offender) for (wrongdoing).

It has caused (negative outcomes) to my life.

I make a decision right now to forgive you and to release the negative emotions from my life forever.

I will forgive you for my sake and for the sake of my loved ones.

I will forgive you whenever I sense any negative resentment against you.

I will forgive you again and again until the poison of unforgiveness is out of my system.

Through forgiveness, I free myself to enjoy a brighter and better future.’


Some people may carry out a symbolic act to help them in the act of forgiveness.

Examples: You can- 

  • Destroy the paper as an affirmation that you have forgiven and started a new life.
  • Burn the paper and feel that your negative emotions are being destroyed.
  • Throw a stone or the paper. As you do so, feel the negative emotions being taken out of your system.
  • Light a small candle. Imagine your negative emotions being melted away and finally removed as you extinguished the fire.


6.       O -Outcomes

After forgiving my offender, I will not just stop there.

I will fill my heart with praise, thanksgiving and gratefulness.

I will lift myself up by praising our Creator for blessing me with life and all the beauty around me.

I will be thankful for all the wonderful blessings that I already have.

I will immerse myself with gratefulness. I will be grateful for who I am and what I have enjoyed in my life.

I will endeavor to fill my life with hope and optimism. I will look forward to a better life and future.

As I lift myself up emotionally, it will help me to have a more forgiving spirit. It will also help me to focus on pursuing my dreams and goals.


7.       M – Make Peace With The Past

I let go of the negative experiences by forgiving my offenders. I will forgive them again if I sense any resentment rising within me.

I will do it until the poison of unforgiveness is totally removed from my system.

I will also reach out to help others to have a more forgiving spirit and to forgive their offenders.

There are many people out there who are still imprisoned by the spirit of unforgiveness. They are living a part of their lives in the past and suffering different levels of pain and sorrow.

When I help them, I am helping myself to be totally free from my negative experiences. I will also learn to live at a higher plane of life.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please go to ‘Notes’ found below my profile picture.

Visit my Inspiration blog at http://liewinspiration.wordpress.com

Visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com

Please read them and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

Question:   How can we find a better way to forgive our offenders?


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