Eyes On The Forehead – Story #3
Have you ever had a strange encounter before?
On one overseas trip, I was walking back to the hotel with some friends.
We were walking through a relatively dark lane.
Suddenly, my friend shouted, “Andrew (Not the real name)! Fancy meeting you here.”
We stopped, and I took a good look at the stranger.
My friend and Andrew started talking to one another.
They became quite engrossed in their conversation.
As no introduction seemed to be forthcoming, the rest of us started to walk ahead at a slow pace.
Later, I realised why we were not introduced to one another.
In particular, why my friend would rather that I did not meet Andrew.
He told me much later, “Remember, I told you about a guy who had been bad mouthing you. That’s Andrew, the guy you met at the lane.”
The peculiar thing is – I’ve never met Andrew before.
Somehow, he just didn’t like me and what he know about me through the Internet or some other sources of information.
As a total stranger, he felt that he had the right to criticise me.
And pass judgements about me.
Since I didn’t even know Andrew, his criticism did not affect me in any way.
His words made not a single dent on my being.
However, it made me think: Haven’t we been guilty of committing similar wrongdoing?
How then should you respond to people who criticise you?
Remember, you are not perfect.
You have downsides and have done many wrongs in your life.
You are but a sinner forgiven by the love and grace of God.
Who are you to condemn others and withdraw love and grace from them?
If God does not judge you when you are alive, who are you to judge others?
What give you the rights to criticize others?
From your perspective, you are always right because you are focusing on looking at the other person’s faults and not on your own faults.
That’s why if you are not prepared to closely examine yourself and conduct vigorous research and detailed investigation about the other party, you should not criticise him at all.
Chances are, if you criticise another person about his fault, more likely than not you have also committed or will commit a similar fault.
You are just as guilty as the other party.
As you are not living under the other person’s skin, you will never understand the other person.
You will never have complete information to make a fair judgement.
Over time, with more wisdom, information and life skills, you may even find out that you are wrong in your judgement.
Therefore, let time hold back your judgement.
Better still, don’t judge.
Put full attention on self-improvements rather than on finding faults.
One will lead to happiness while the other will only lead to resentments, frustrations and disappointments.
When you judge others, remember they might have already changed.
By criticising them, instead of helping them, you may be lowering their morale and energy levels.
In the end, you may be causing them more harm.
If people criticise you, don’t take it at heart.
If it helps you, learn from it.
If not, dump it.
Don’t let a negative person or remark stand in the way of your progress.
Give people the benefit of doubt that they have good intentions.
They are criticizing you out of ignorance and without appropriate emotional intelligence and skill set.
It’s good to feel important.
However, it’s also just as important to see the good in others.
Success is about leveraging on strengths and not the absence of weaknesses.
This applies to us and to others too.
When you can see the good in your worst enemy and be thankful for it, you can be happy for many more things in life.
The only time when you can look down on somebody is to evaluate how you can pick him up and put him on the right footing to live a good life.
The person you look down upon may very well be the person who will pick you up when you hit a tough spot in life.
Their friends and people in the know may rally behind you in times of need.
The good that you do to others will be returned back to you in multiple-folds.
Such is the universal algorithm set up by our Creator since the beginning of time.Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
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