It’s Time To Learn From Criticisms – Story #3.

by Patrick Liew on August 27, 2018

It’s Time To Learn From Criticisms – Story #3.

Have you ever had a strange encounter before?

Once, I was overseas and was walking back to the hotel with some friends.

We were walking through a relatively dark lane.

Suddenly, my friend shouted, “Andrew (Not the real name)! Fancy meeting you here.”

We stopped and I took a good look at the stranger.

My friend and Andrew started talking to one another. They eventually quite engrossed in their conversation.

As no introduction seemed to be forthcoming, the rest of us started to walk ahead at a slow pace.

Later, I realised why we were not introduced to one another.

In particular, why my friend would rather that I did not meet Andrew.

He told me much later, “Remember, I told you about a guy who had been bad mouthing you.

“That’s Andrew, the guy you met at the lane.”

The peculiar thing is that I’ve not met Andrew before.

Somehow, he just didn’t like my face and what he saw in me online or in some public places.

As a total stranger, he felt that he had the right to criticise me. He could pass judgements about me.

Andrew did not affect me in any way. His words made no dent on my being.

However, it made me think: Haven’t we been guilty of committing similar offences?

How then should we respond to people who criticise us?

Remember, none of us are perfect.

We have committed our equal share of wrongdoings.

We are all but sinners forgiven by the love and grace of God.

Who are we to judge others and withdraw love and grace from them?

If God does not judge us when we are alive, who are we to judge others?

What makes us so much better than others that we have the right to judge them?

From our perspective, we are always right because we are focusing on looking at the other person’s faults and not on our own.

If we are not prepared to closely examine ourselves and conduct vigorous research and detailed investigation about the other party, we should not criticise another person at all.

Chances are, if we criticise another person about an action, more likely than not we have also committed or will commit that action.

We are just as guilty as the other party.

In addition, as we are not living under the other person’s skin, we will never understand the other person and we will never have complete information to make a fair judgement.

Over time, with more wisdom, information and life skills, we may find out that we are wrong in our judgements.

Therefore, let time hold back our judgement. Better still, don’t judge.

Put full attention on self-improvements rather than on finding faults.

One will lead to happiness while the other will only lead to resentments, frustrations and disappointments.

When we judge others, remember they may have already changed.

By criticising them, instead of helping them, we may be lowering their morale and energy level.

We may be causing them more harm.

If people criticise us, don’t take it at heart. If it helps us, learn from it.

If not, dump it.

Don’t let a negative person or remark stand in the way of our progress.

Give people the benefit of doubt that they have good intentions.

They are criticizing us out of ignorance and without the appropriate emotional intelligence and skill set.

It’s good to feel important.

It’s also just as important to see the good in others and make them feel important.

Success is about leveraging on strengths and not the absence of weaknesses. This applies to us and to others too.

When we can see the good in our worst enemy and be thankful for it, we can be happy for many more things in life.

The only time when we can look down on somebody is to see how we can pick him up and put him on the right footings to live a good life.

The person you look down upon may very well be the person who will pick you up when you hit a tough spot in life.

Their friends and people in the know may also rally behind you in times of need.

The good that we do to others will be returned back to us in multiple-folds.

Such is the universal algorithm set up by our Creator since the beginning of time.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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