It’s Time To Move On From Toxic Relationships.

It’s Time To Move On From Toxic Relationships.

A friend whom I’ve known for more than 20 years and I were reminiscing about the past.

There were a lot of pleasant things we could catch up on.

But somehow we spent some time talking about our sad experiences with Tom (not his real name), a mutual friend.

My friend had make a lot of sacrifices to help Tom and somehow, he never took it to heart.

In fact, Tom had backstabbed her on more than a few occasions.

While listening to her, I could not help feeling the same way about Tom too.

Tom was a friend I rather not have and was happy to from my life.

I first met him when he was a salesperson and his immediate superior reported to me in the company.

Tom never felt welcomed by his manager and if anything else, he felt that he was looked down upon and sidelined by his manager.

I spent some time befriending Tom and made him feel that he was an important part of the organisation.

At the least, I made him a little more comfortable in the office.

Subsequently, we both left to pursue different careers.

Tom joined one of our suppliers and once again, he felt that his next manager did not like and appreciate him.

We kept in contact and I was a sounding board for some of his entrepreneurial ideas and offered my listening ears to his grouses and gripings.

While Tom was keen to start out on his own, he never took the first step.

By then, I was running a business and was doing reasonably well.

I offered Tom a job to learn a relatively new business that I had painstakingly started and grown substantially.

I had overcome the initial start-up challenges to achieve a degree of success.

I was not willing to share it with anybody except someone whom I thought I could trust.

Sadly, my trust was misplaced.

To cut a long story short, a short while later, Tom left my company and took some of my staff with him.

Although his business did not quite take off, he ended up working for one of our vendors.

He was eventually caught red handed trying to cheat the vendor.

All these years while I was helping Tom, he was never appreciative about it – not that I expected it from him.

What I did not expect was that he spread vicious rumors about me as part of a deliberate plan to sabotage me and take some of my businesses away.

As I reflected on Tom and the harm that he has done to me, I asked myself, “Do I hate him?”

I searched my soul and I know the answer is, “No.”

Do I carry any resentment against him?

The answer is – also “No.”

Do I wish for the worst for him? Again, “No.”

I actually prayed and wished him well.

There must be reasons why Tom did what he did.
He has to bear responsibility for his life and the outcomes of his ways.

Also, he’s a family man with children.

I pray and wish for the best for Tom so that his children will not have to suffer and be set back in any way.

I have learned that there is no need to waste any energy on people like him.

If I carry any negative emotions against him, it will only affect me.

In addition, it will distract me from pursuing positive values and fulfilling my dreams and callings in life.

People like Tom strengthened me. They made me wiser in dealing with others and managing relationships.

Moreover, they softened me. Instead of being cynical, I want to channel more love, kindness and compassion to needy and deserving people.

Finally, they enlightened me. I am more inspired to fight for the right causes and help to bring about a better world.

If genetic make-up is somehow passed down to future generations, I pray that my descendants will not become skeptical about life and paranoid about relationships.

My wish is for my descendants to be wise in their dealings with others and they’ll know how to resolve negative aspects of worldly ways.

At the same time, they will continue to see good in others and help to turn the world right side up.

I’m grateful to our Creator for the valuable lessons from past experiences and for watching over me.

Thank you one and all, including Tom for teaching me and helping me go and grow through the vicissitudes of life.

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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