It’s Time To Strengthen Your Self Esteem.

by Patrick Liew on July 17, 2018

It’s Time To Strengthen Your Self Esteem.

A healthy self-esteem is the ability to accept yourself despite your weaknesses and other challenges.

At the same time, you need to appreciate and love yourself, including your unique gifts, talents, strengths, experiences, and possibilities for a better future.

Without developing a healthy self-esteem, it is hard for you to be at peace with yourself. And to pursue your aspiration and live a fulfilling life.

There are three key reasons why many do not have a healthy level of self-esteem.

a. They focus on the hole rather than the doughnut.

Many people do not have a healthy self-esteem because they are consciously or unconsciously focusing on the negatives within themselves and without.

Because they put on “negative sunglasses,” everything looks negative to them.

Instead of focusing on their upsides and what’s uplifting, they focus on their frailties, fears and failures.

They ask themselves, “Why can’t I do it?” instead of “How can I do it?”

To make matters worse, they keep imagining unhealthy reactions and visualizing negative outcomes.

b. They plant unhealthy seeds to grow their self-esteem.

Many people choose to plant unhealthy seeds in the gardens of their minds.

They grow fruits that lower their self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-love and foster all kinds of negative emotions.

After a while, they become producers of more unhealthy seeds that further erode their self-confidence and their faith in what they can achieve in the future.

They become addicted to the chemicals in their brains – chemicals that generate and perpetuate unhealthy thoughts and emotions.

And program their minds and condition their hearts until having unhealthy self-esteem becomes part of their thought patterns and habitual life.

c. They do not take charge of their lives.

Many people have framed their lives through the lens of pain rather than gain; and what was lost rather than what was left.

They focus on the let-downs rather than the lessons that can help them leapfrog to a brighter future.

Instead of taking responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, they tell themselves “stories” to comfort themselves.

They blame others, justify and give excuses for negatives outcomes in their lives.

Talk themselves into becoming victims rather than rising up to become victors.

In the process, they develop blockages to healthy development and growth.

By and by, they spiral down the slippery slope of negative self-esteem to other debilitating consequences, including a lack of emotional control, need for approval and affirmation, the replay of negative thoughts, inaction, and even gradual destruction.

Responsibility, in essence, means the ability to respond to challenges in life.

In this regard, sadly, they fail to take responsibility to improve their self-esteem and change their lives and destiny.

Unfortunately, low self-esteem can lead to even lower self-esteem.

How then can you develop a healthy self-esteem?

First, make the right choices.

Having a healthy self-esteem is a matter of choice, commitments, and changes, and not merely a matter of chance, conditions or circumstances.

Every day, you have to make conscious and consistent choices to take appropriate actions to strengthen your self-esteem.

What you are today is the result of yesterday’s choices.

What you will be tomorrow is the result of today’s decisions.

If you choose not to have a healthy self-esteem, even the best trainers, training, and training resources cannot help you learn, improve and achieve better results.

On the other hand, if you decide to enhance your self-esteem, the dots in your mind and the forces of the universe will converge to support and strengthen you.
Therefore, choose to accept and love yourself.

Release yourself from prisons of the past. Resolve lingering fears, uncertainties and doubts.

Restore yourself from what is not true and the lies that were created by you and others.

Choose to forgive those who have hurt and disappointed you.

Let them go mentally and emotionally. Forgive them again and again until they stop “living” inside you.

You cannot be well if you are emotionally unwell.

If the dark shadows in your life are not resolved, they will hold you down and prevent you from soaring toward your dreams.

Choose to learn from negative experiences so that you can help others who are going through similar and other struggles.

Be thankful and grateful that what cannot destroy you can make you stronger, better and more resilient.

Choose to spend the time to refresh the internal journey so as to revitalize the external journey.

If your internal world is not right, your external world may eventually go wrong.

Our Creator has given you the gift of choice. The power of choice is in your hand, heart, and mind – right now.

Secondly, take appropriate actions to improve your self-esteem.

The key difference between people who have a healthy self-esteem and those who don’t is proactive action.

Through proactive action, you can gradually but surely strengthen your self-image and love for yourself.

For example, learn to look out for the good that is within and without you.

Be grateful and thankful for the strengths and upsides in your life. Appreciate yourself and give yourself constant affirmations and encouragements.

Forgive yourself and do not be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes.

Engage in empowering self-talk while at the same time, fight to stop your inner critic.

If negative thoughts get into your mind, repel them immediately. Never indulge in them and allow them to take roots.

Do things you enjoy and which can help you achieve positive results.

Don’t aim for perfection and over-push yourself. Pace yourself as you take bigger steps.

Celebrate every step and rejoice over every achievement.

Focus your energy to live well and to do good to others and the environment.

Respect and shower kindness on others.

Do not be judgmental and critical. Inspire and encourage them to improve their lives.

Lend a helping hand to the poor, needy and disadvantaged.

The more you do good, the more you will be grateful for your life and be thankful for your contributions.

Thirdly, immerse yourself in a positive environment.

You are very much the results of the people you mix with and the environment around you.

They can either lift you to a higher level or lead you down the mud of life.

Therefore, be mindful of negative influences from your culture, family, school, friends, and other aspects of your life.

Stay away from anything that erodes your self-esteem.

In particular, don’t interact with netizens that make you feel negative about yourself and your perspective of life.

These debilitating influences can cause emotional challenges, character flaws, interpersonal problems, and unhealthy inclinations.

Make it a habit to “force feed” all your five senses with uplifting inputs.

Choose your friends carefully and develop positive relationships with them.

Make a list of potential mentors in different areas of your life. Set out to learn from and model after them.

Mix with people who inspire, encourage and support you to achieve healthy development and growth.

Remember, the quality of your life is influenced by the quality of people you mix around with.

Consciously or unconsciously, you will incline towards the collective average standards of values and performance achieved by your friends.

Perhaps it’s time to do a spring cleaning of your circle of relationships and environment.

Time to leave negative friends behind and propel yourself forward with empowering friendships and in doing so, strengthen your self-esteem.

In conclusion, always remember that loving yourself is one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself, and you deserve the highest level of self-love.

The more you develop a healthy love and respect for yourself, the more effective you will become in loving others and respecting them.

You will then be in a better position to achieve a more sustainable level of success and fulfillment.


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

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